Sand Sick
by Cattypatra
Summary: So, what happens after the adventure? When everything's already over before it begun? Do things truly ever go back to normal? Kairi's laughing, Sora's dieing, and Riku might just have all of the answers. One sided KairiSora, main RikuSora.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: M, due to yaoi that will be in later chapters, and for swearing in later chapters as well.

Disclaimer: I in no way own anything related to Kingdom Hearts, except maybe the game. If I did Sora and Riku would be making out at every possible opportunity. Are they? No? Then I still don't own it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Destiny islands looked the same as it always had.

Endless plains of ever stretching gold spun sand, the water that winked and sparkled in the light of the glorious sun. The blue sky with the occasional wisp of translucent cloud. Even the air was the same, stained with the salty breeze of the ocean and the exotic scent that the whole island seemed to exude. From the tiniest grain of sand to the largest, towering paopu tree.

The whole island _breathed _life.

Sora flung himself out of the water, a giggle barely escaping his lips. His spiky brown hair lay soggy against his tanned skin, and his black clothes dripped liquid absolutely everywhere. But he didn't care. Not at all.

The giggle turned into a laugh.

He spotted Kairi up ahead, her longer red hair drifting slightly in the wind around her face. Her blue eyes looked down kindly on Sora, who fell onto his knees in front of her, unused to the sand after all of his adventures.

He smiled up at her, and outstretched his hand, where the charm that Kairi had given to him all that time ago lay, nestled in his fingers. He brought his hand into Kairi's, giving her the icon made of thalassa shells back.

"I'm home," he said.

She grinned. "Welcome home."

Sora withdrew his fingers quickly, Kairi's brushed over his, silently begging for him to hold her hand, and yet they sipped, one by one, out of her grasp, and Sora's arm fell by his side. His hands formed into tightly clenched fists, and he didn't even know why. His fingernails bit into the palms of his hands so hard that it hurt.

He looked down at them in confusion for a few moments, trying to dissect the crescents that his nails were from his flesh; if he didn't stop soon he was going to draw blood…

And then Riku stepped out from behind the younger keyblade master, startling him into forgetting about it. And just as quickly, his fingers dropped.

Unlike Kairi's hair, which was fluttering idly around her face, Riku's had completely lifted with the wind, and was swirling around with the it. His green eyes burned out from underneath his thick fringe, which, in parts, stretched along the strong line of his jaw.

He took a few seconds to smile at Kairi, almost not recognizing her.

"Hey Kairi, it's good to see you again," he said disarmingly.

"You too Riku, it's good to see you, uh, 'looking' like yourself again," she said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Riku smiled wryly.

"No offense meant, of course," Kairi said, laughing nervously.

"None taken," he returned.

She smiled sheepishly, reaching a hand to the back of her head, a habit that Sora was particularly notorious for. Riku shrugged in return, not really caring.

There was an awkward silence between the three best friends.

They stood there, in the damp ocean breeze, Riku and Sora dripping in their saturated clothes, and Kairi just standing there, wondering what to say next, wondering who was going to talk. She was just waiting for someone to say something, so that they could all start laughing again. Just like they used too.

But they never did. And Kairi's smile slowly dropped, the sparkle diminishing ever so slightly in her wide eyes.

"Come on guys, you better get into some clean clothes. Can't have you catching a cold!" she said desperately, trying to bring some vitality into the situation.

She turned her back to them and made her way up the beach, her soft shoes leaving little foot prints in the sand behind her.

Neither of the two boys mentioned that it was far to warm for them to catch a cold in the middle of summer on Destiny Islands. They didn't have to, they didn't want too. Best not to mention things that would only cause an even greater rift between them.

Sora turned to look at Riku, and the two of them shared an uneasy glance. Then the silver haired teen shrugged again, and they both started to walk after their female friend together, one stride at a time.

Luckily, Kairi's house was right on the shore of the beach, so there wasn't much traveling to do.

"You guys wait here, mmmkay?" she said as the two of them stood uneasily on her porch.

"Sure," Sora supplied.

She flashed them a smile before quickly unlocking the white front door and disappearing inside.

Sora shifted hesitantly on the wooden deck, looking down at his toes and wringing his hands together nervously, trying to dislodge the angry red marks that his nails had provided.

"Relax, Sora," Riku chuckled.

Sora shot him a half hearted glare. "I _am _relaxed."

Riku snorted, throwing him a sarcastic smile. "Suuuure you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sora said back almost angrily.

Riku actually laughed this time, and reached overt to ruffle Sora's hair that was drying fast and trying to resume its naturally erratic appearance.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo."

"Hey, I'm not a kid!" Sora replied as he tried to dislodge Riku's hand from his head.

"Sure you're not."

With a squawk Riku captured Sora in a tight head lock, giving him a fierce noogie. A bark of laughter escaped him as Sora flailed around uselessly.

"Hey Riku, come oooon, stooooop!" Sora shrieked, laughing.

"Nah, I'm not gonna," Riku said childishly.

"Ooooh, come on!"

"Sorry to break up the male bonding, but you guys are still wet," Kairi said, humor inflecting her voice.

He threw them each a rough woolen towel for them to dry themselves with.

Riku caught it his before it hit him in mid air, and then drew it over his head. He rubbed vigorously at his sopping wet silver hair that had turned a strangely dark grey color.

However, Sora wasn't so lucky. The towel hit him straight in the face, before flopping sadly to the ground.

Kairi giggled. She walked over to Sora and picked up the towel for him. Kairi shook it off quickly, before holding it out to Sora again, a smile dusting her perfect features.

"Here," she muttered happily.

Sora grinned sheepishly, before taking the towel from her hands and copying Riku.

In a few seconds he pulled the towel away from his head, and watched as his bangs spiked up before their very eyes.

"Sora… how do you do it?" Riku deadpanned.

Kairi's giggle turned into a laugh.

Sora pulled a face at his best friend, who just stuck out his tongue back. And Kairi stood between them, laughing again. Actually laughing, not the forced laugh that she had been forced to resort to for all the days that she had been waiting for them.

Maybe things could somehow… be okay again?

Riku grinned as Sora 'flipped the bird,' or stuck up his rude finger, at him. He mimed accepting it and then put it in his pocket.

Sora glared petulantly, lower lip coming out into a little pout. This caused Riku to burst into hysterics, joining Kairi.

"Guuuuuuys, it's not fuuuuuny!" Sora exclaimed, dragging his words out.

This, of course, only caused Kairi and Riku to fall to the ground.

"Come oooon!" Sora said.

This time, he stamped his feet a few times, looking childish.

That didn't help his situation anymore, either.

Kairi and Riku were laughing so hard that their sides hurt. Kairi was already bawling her eyes out, while Riku had managed to contain himself to a few tears leaking out from behind his thick black lashes.

Sora opened his mouth to retort, and then stopped.

They just looked so… happy?

He wasn't sure. It could have been happiness or a hollow kind of desperation, laughing when they wanted to cry. He couldn't tell the difference. Maybe it was… a little bit of both?

And so Sora joined them, laughing too. Falling into the sand with his best friends. His laughter was tinged with irony and sorrow, as well as both beauty and mirth, just like Riku's was. Laughing because, maybe the act of laughing could prove to themselves that they were really okay. Maybe laughing was a way of proving to themselves, that they still belonged here, among the sand, the drifting sea and the claustrophobic atmosphere.

Eventually the sound died down, leaving them there. Just lying there, aimlessly looking up into the bright blue sky. Side by side, barely touching.

Seconds went by.

Seconds evolved into minutes, carefully blending into each other, until they were gone.

Silence, except for the gentle, ceaseless lapping of the waves and the whistle of the warm island breeze through thick green foliage.

Peace…

"Kairi, is that you?" a surprisingly loud voice asked.

The three of them were drawn out of their thoughts immediately.

And before they knew it, Sora and Riku had leapt straight off the ground and onto their feet. Sora crouched low, arms out to the side, Riku stood up, knees bent, one arm extended. Both with their hands desperately outstretched, waiting for keyblades that never came.

The mayor jumped back at this virile reaction.

"Dear lord, you gave me a fright!" he shrieked, clutching at his chest.

Sora and Riku, upon realizing what they had done, straightened up, and then looked away nervously.

"You could have given me a heart attack," he exclaimed, clutching his chest harder.

Riku snorted at this, the fact that the man was holding wrong side of his chest from his heart was ironic.

The shrewd little fat man set them a glare.

"And why are you two acting so suspiciously? Looking like you're about to attack someone! The nerve of kids these days!" he screeched.

Sora and Riku exchanged an uneasy glance. What was his problem?

Kairi pushed herself off the ground, her features drawn. Sure, the mayor had raised her, but that didn't mean that she liked him all the time, and he did have the ability to be a little ditzy, and over react, _all_ the time.

"And I should take you guys down to the law bringer in town! Yes, vagabond kids turning up out of no where! And what are you wearing? You have trouble written all over you!"

Sora and Riku blinked.

"Papa, what are you saying?" Kairi spoke up.

"Kairi! What are you doing with those ruffians! Get over here immediately!"

"Papa… don't you recognize them? It's Riku and Sora," Kairi tried to explain.

Silence fell.

"Nice try Kairi, good one," he said sarcastically.

"No, papa! You don't get it! I'm serious!" she cried desperately.

"Kairi, dear, why would you bring something like that up now? Heaven knows that we've just moved on."

"But Papa!"

"No buts, come over here at once, I don't want you around such _negative _influences."

"Pa-"

"This conversation is over, get away from them!"

"PAPA! JUST LOOK AT THEM! LOOK CLOSELY!" Kairi screamed in desperation.

She wrapped her arms around her body and closed her eyes against the sight of the two distraught boys.

They hadn't changed that much… had they?

"KAIRI!" the mayor shouted back.

She trembled. "Please, just look at them… for me?"

The mayor sent her a disapproving glare, but she ignored it.

The mayor hesitantly walked over to the two 'strangers.' Honestly, he had never seen them before in his life. And the clothes! One wearing dual colored long length pants, an open vest and a bandage on his arm. The other with a black, yellow and red outfit with pockets attached by god knows what and matching gloves! Not normal island wear!

But now that he thought about it, the spiky brown hair that hung over eyes the color of the sea, and the silver hair that was longer than before, it all looked familiar.

It couldn't be…

Then again, why would Kairi lie to him?

And then it hit him. Straight on, like Wakka's blitz ball, right in the face.

The shadow of the two boys he had known was reflected in the closed eyes of these two newcomers. But they were so different, held themselves with a bone deep weariness, nerves that you could practically smell coming off them. They had grown in body, taller, fuller, stronger… but in the mind? They had the look of a lion, trapped in the bars of its own cage, pacing back and forth, back and forth. They looked as if they wanted to start running, and keep running, until they couldn't breathe… until they died that way…

"What happened to you?" he asked, trying to take it all in.

"You wouldn't believe us even if we told you," Riku said, taking this in his stride.

"But, where have you been all this time?"

Both boys looked down. They didn't know how to answer.

"Umm, they took the raft out, right? Yeah, left me behind." Kairi lied through her white teeth.

The mayor didn't look convinced, but didn't press any further.

"And you Kairi! Where have you been for the past few days? Running off without telling anyone," the mayor berated.

This time, Kairi answered quickly. "I went on a camping trip, sorry for not telling you earlier."

"By yourself?" he asked suspiciously.

"Of course."

The old man huffed irritably.

"At any rate, you'd better go and see your parents Sora," he proclaimed.

"Yeah, I probably should be going home," he answered uneasily.

"Come on Kairi, Margaret's been worried _sick _about you," the mayor said, referring to his wife.

"Oh, um, okay."

"Bye Kairi," Sora said softly.

"Bye Sora," Kairi threw over her shoulder as she was navigated by the mayor into their house.

Sora stood on her porch for a few moments before he stepped back down, onto the beach, without discussing anything, Riku followed him and stopped next to him.

"Riku?"

"I'm just gonna walk with you for a while, then split off and head to my house," the silver haired teenager explained.

"Sure…"

What they didn't see was the mayor looking out of the front window at them as they trekked their way into the distance.

And they didn't notice the old, sodden wood of their raft floating idly alone in the massive sea that stretched out behind them. The mayor looked from one to the other, before he disappeared further into his house.

The two newly reunited best friends lapsed into an easy silence. Some might have been afraid of the deathly stillness between them, but Sora and Riku were used to it. The silence reminded them subtly of battle. Battles where there was no time for words to each other, just the silence of their voices as they fought, together, side by side.

They made their way up the dusty trails that snaked their way through the village on destiny islands. All the familiar sights looked unfamiliar, all the houses stood in the same places, but each one had changed in small ways. An extra crack in the glass there, a new tree here, a different colored door.

Sora kept going.

"Umm, Sora? You kinda missed your house," Riku called out to him.

"Oops," Sora said as he re-traced his steps.

His house did look a lot different. Instead of its usual cheery yellow color, it had been re painted a dirty cream. The fence was now a deep brown, contrary to its original bright lime, and the paopu tree in the yard was dieing, leaves spiraling down onto the unkept lawn. Rancid fruit lay at the top most branches dripping purple juice along the rotting trunk.

"Well, I guess this is where I leave you," Riku said after an awkward pause.

"Yeah. Thanks for walking with me, Riku."

Riku started to slowly walk away, shoulders hunched against the day light.

"No problem," he said as he raised a hand in lazy farewell.

Sora returned the wave.

And stood there.

Scared on his own front door step, wondering if he could go inside. Who knew what was going to happen?

He could barely even remember his family. What they had looked like, what they had said, done or thought. Names, sure. But he couldn't remember who they actually _were_. Not once on his journey had he thought about searching for them, they were only ever an after thought, a shadow trailing hungrily after Riku and Kairi.

And now he had to go back and live with them again? Like everything was back to normal?

He hesitantly raised a hand, as if about to knock.

And abruptly changed his mind. It was now or never. He could stand there all day, waiting for the courage to knock. Better to get everything over and done with.

Sora reached for the door handle and opened it with a single twist. They were home. If not his mother would have left a spare key under the once cheery welcome mat.

Sora waited a few more moments, breath held, eyes screwed shut.

He could do this. All he had to do was breathe, yeah, just breathe. In, out, in, out, in, out, and shit he was starting to hyperventilate. Okay, he could calm down, he could do this.

And before he had to opportunity to chicken out, Sora pushed the door open, walked inside and then closed it behind him.

Emptiness. Silence, and not the friendly one shared between him and Riku, either. Sora didn't call out that he was home, it would have felt… odd, somehow.

Instead he started through the house, silent as a heartless. Down the entry hallway, passed the firmly shut study door, until he reached the kitchen. And then walked straight into it.

Yes, he had been right. His family was there. Just sitting down, eating, watching a small cracked television set. His older brother was eating a fruit salad that his mother Maria had obviously just made. She herself was consuming an identical salad to the one her son was, while Sora's dad Michael was munching contently on a sandwich.

They looked so peaceful, Sora couldn't bring himself to interrupt them. So they hadn't needed him after all, they'd been able to move on. Act like a real family. Things were obviously better without him.

Sora smiled bitterly, and turned away, about to go back through the hallway, to the door, and then leave the house. He didn't know where he would end up, but it had to be better than here, with his scattered family that looked disgustingly _right _without him.

He heard a clatter of someone dropping a plate.

Immediately, Sora's reactions jumped into action. He whirled around, craning his neck desperately for his opponent. Crouched in a low attacked position, arms encircling an imaginary weapon that just… wouldn't come anymore.

And instead of a heartless, or a nobody, or another estranged member of the Organisation XIII, all there was was his father. His father who had just turned around and seen a stranger in his doorway, and dropped his plate in alarm. His father who was _really _afraid. No more shadowy monsters, no more nightmares from which you couldn't scream, no more tricks and turns and whispered echoes of the name 'Roxas.'

But then why… was this so much more terrifying?

Maria and Sora's older brother Makae turned around when they heard Michael's reaction.

And then they all saw him.

Not a flicker of identification ran through their eyes. Sora was just someone who had broken into their house. A thief, a pest, a _heartless…_

"What are you doing in my house?" Michael demanded.

He stood up from his chair, putting his back to his family, as if trying to protect them.

Sora couldn't answer him. Didn't know how, this was his father, screaming at him as if he were a _monster._

But then again, maybe he was a _monster_.

His son's stupefied answer must not have been the desired one, seeing as how Michael asked again.

"What are you doing in my house!" he shouted, the levels of hysteria in his voice getting louder.

And still, Sora didn't have an answer. And he knew what he must look like, standing there in his strange clothes and guarded eyes in front of his family, he didn't look like their son, but maybe that was because he wasn't part of the family anymore. Maybe he didn't belong…

"Get out of my house!" Michael screamed.

Makae got out of his seat too and was standing beside his father.

Sora felt a brief flash of hurt before the numbness washed it away.

"You heard him, get out!" Makae repeated.

And still, Sora felt himself being enveloped by his silence again. The comfortable silence.

He must have looked like a murderer with dieing eyes, staring at these people whose house he had invaded.

And before he knew it, he crashed into the floor.

His mother had come up behind him with a soup ladle and smashed it against the back of his head.

It didn't even hurt, it was just that the suddenness of the attack had caught him off guard.

"Mum! What are you doing!" Sora said, finding his voice at last.

This time, it was the family that fell into silence.

His father was literally boiling with rage.

"How dare you say that you know us! Now get out of our house!" he shrieked.

He picked Sora up by the front of his shirt, and what was more surprising, was that fact that Sora let him. Sora let himself be lifted off the floor by his father, his shoes trailing uselessly in the air. After all, he couldn't hurt his family.

Michael then threw him against the floor.

"GET OUT," he snarled.

His mother started to cry, and Makae grabbed her arm in an effort to comfort her. "Shhh, it'll be alright," he whispered in her ear, trying to calm down her down.

"Don't you remember? It's me, Sora!" the spiky haired teen cried.

The absence of sound. Purely, nothing. It was as if the world had stopped. The inviting breeze lay dead in the stagnant air that smelt of dieing paopu, of dieing _promises_.

"What?" Makae stuttered.

"It's me, Sora, don't you recognize me?" Sora pleaded desperately.

Again, no one moved. Bodies trapped motionless, eyes searching, always searching. But no answers unfolded, and Sora's voice died on his lips which were chapped with the stains of his fading adventure.

"You're lying," Michael whispered.

"No, I'm not. Can't you see? It's me, I'm home."

"H-how… can you… taking advantage of our sorrow like that! What kind of _monstrosity _could do that," his father bit out harshly, denying the truth.

Sora stood up, his sky blue eyes misting over with unshed tears. He would not cry now. He couldn't, not here. Why should he cry now? Shouldn't he cry in the adventure, when things were bleak? Heroes weren't meant to cry when they returned home. Fairytales didn't work that way.

"It's me! Can't you tell?" Sora screamed.

"No it's not!"

"YES IT IS!"

Sora looked into his family's eyes one by one.

He grabbed a lock of his spiky brown mop. "I am Sora, look at my hair! See, just like it was! And my eyes! They're just as blue as yours are!" he cried.

"You're not Sora," his father replied again obstinately.

"Yes… it is," Maria breathed.

"What? You can't be serious," Makae retorted.

"Sora…" Maria cooed.

She opened her arms wide, inviting him to share her embrace.

Instead he stood there, unsure of what to do. He couldn't just… walk forward. It didn't work that way. He couldn't act as if nothing had happened. And since when… did the thought of hugging his mother repulse him so much?

Hurt flashed across her face before she disguised it carefully.

She pulled him gently into her arms, and Sora didn't struggle. _Only monsters hurt their family._

And the room seemed to spin as Maria hugged Sora, Makae and Michael looking on in wonder. They had thought him dead. Gone forever. And yet here he was, dressed strangely, older, and with an air about him that set them on edge, as if he were about to either fight or flee.

Sora nearly screamed.

But he couldn't.

He tried to breathe, only to find that he couldn't. He was suffocating here, with his family in their time worn house. Couldn't survive in the heat of his mothers shallow arms, couldn't bear the faces rent with an emotion that looked all too similar to _Kairi_.

And only one thought flashed, unheeded, through Sora's mind.

One that he couldn't stop forming in his very bones, like an ache that wouldn't go away.

_Things would never be the same again._

- - - - - - - - -

Okay, well, this is the first chapter. What do you think? Evidently this story is based after the adventure, and area that not many people like to explore.

This story will eventually contain yaoi, but not at the moment, this isn't some shameless fan service story, this story _will _have a plot. And yes, Riku will play a much larger part in later chapters. This one was just getting Sora re introduced to his family, and the kids seeing the mayor again.

Anyway, please review, I would love any comments that you could give me.


	2. Of Leaving and Limbs

Sora lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He was on the couch.

His room had been converted into a study a long time ago. The walls had been re painted from his baby blue to a blinding white, just like a hospital; it was like the entire house had been sanitized of him. None of his clothes remained; they'd been discarded into the ocean a long time ago. None of his possessions remained, the paopu fruit that Riku had teased him with which he'd secretly kept, wondering if he would ever have the guts to share it with _anybody _one day, his favorite pair of mismatched socks, his scarf which he never used because it didn't get cold on Destiny Islands, the chalk that he had drawn Kairi's picture with, even his old books had been gotten rid of somewhere. Probably with his clothes, floating idly along with the swirling tide.

Sora sighed and rolled over onto his side. He was wearing his older brother Makae's old shorts, which were make shift pyjamas. Surprisingly, they actually fit. Just another testament to the amount of time that Sora had been absent for. He pulled the blanket just a little tighter around his frame, his knuckles digging harshly into the rough fabric.

The place was completely alien to him. So different. And yet, it was still the same.

Sora strained his head to get a good look at the clock which was glued onto the wall opposite him above the cracked radio. It read 3:57 AM. Sora sighed. Well, at least he wasn't going to have to pretend to be asleep for very much longer. At the first feasible opportunity, he just wanted to get _out_.

With that thought firmly in mind, he closed his eyes and drifted into a light, dreary sleep, that did nothing for his muscles. He hadn't truly let his guard down yet.

And he was… just waiting… for a heartless to come in through the window…

Couldn't give… up…

- - - - - - - - - Sora POV - - - - - - - - - -

"Sora, Sora honey, it's time to wake up."

I jumped up, alarmed. The first thought that rushed through my head left me practically cowering. _How did the heartless know my name? _

Reactions deeply entrained into my body reacted first. I leapt up, tumbled back and crouched, low to the ground, so that less of me would be able to be attacked. My eyes keenly trained on what appeared to be…

My mum?!

Oh…

Shit.

That probably wouldn't have a nice effect. Yeah, it really wouldn't. I mean, what would you say if your son appeared out of no where after a _very _long time, you just woke him up and he jumped up and looked at you as if he was going to stab you repeatedly with a weapon that looked like a ridiculously over sized key? Yeah, I was willing to bet that wasn't going to go down all that well.

She looked up at me with fearful eyes, I could hear her heart pounding deep within the cavity of her chest.

Just like Riku could smell things scarily well, I could hear them. Does that make much sense? No? Well not much does these days. What sense do a talking duck and dog make, anyway?

"Sora? Are… are you okay?" Maria asked fearfully, biting her lip.

I wanted so badly to say no. to scream, to cry, to hit something, break something into pieces and throw them out the second story window. Heck, I was tempted to throw an Axel, to burn everything until I felt, just that little bit better.

But I did none of these things. And that act of deception, made me start to hate myself.

"I'm fine. You just startled me, is all."

Maria didn't look like she believed me, so I smiled. Easy going, reliable smile that was always there. The smile that was slowly carving itself into my face.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that breakfast was ready, and, um, that you can come any time you want."

I hung my head. "Thanks mum."

I stood up and unwrapped myself from the old blanket. She stood there with this ridiculously hopeful expression on her face, her arms held slightly out, waiting for a hug. But, I couldn't do it.

I sucked in my breath and walked right past her, and into the kitchen. And my god, did it _hurt_.

Hurt her and hurt me. But in a lot of ways, it was better this way.

I walked down the short corridor and into the kitchen. Michael and Makae were already there, sitting around the table with grim expressions on their faces, sharing the daily newspaper.

I would have liked to say that it felt good, that everything had gone back to normal, but it hadn't. no matter how much I may have wished to be able to sit next to my father and my older brother, and read the paper, just like we had when I was younger, I couldn't. And I realized, that it was because I didn't want too. I didn't want to join them, I didn't want to become a part of a family again. I had lasted so long without one, that it just didn't feel necessary anymore.

I took the furthest seat away from Michael and Makae, and sat staring vacantly at the table.

The two of them shifted suspiciously, as if I shouldn't be at the table with them. But I didn't move. Screw them.

And then mum came through the doorway, full of smiles and incessant chatter.

"So, how did everyone sleep last night?" she asked pleasantly.

"Fine," Makae replied.

Michael shrugged.

I didn't say anything.

Maria looked at me with concern in her eyes.

"Sora, how did you sleep?"

I grunted noncommittally.

She walked up to me and placed one hand on my forehead. "You okay honey?"

"I'm fine, mum," I said while gently pushing her hand away.

She drew back, her features draw in that solemn, disappointed look again. And I let her pull away, my face impervious.

She started to prepare some eggs for us.

"So, Makae, school starts up next week, doesn't it?"

"Sure does mum," he said, turning a page of the newspaper.

"Mmmm." She hummed. "So, has anyone done anything interesting happened this week?"

"Not really," my dad said.

"I finally asked Rinoa out," Makae said smugly.

Maria's face lit up. "Oh, that's great news! So when do we get to meet the young woman we've been hearing so much about?" she asked in a sing song voice.

Makae shrugged. "When things get a bit more serious I'll invite her over for dinner sometime, would that be okay mum?"

"Of course it would darling!"

Silence fell again while Maria served eggs and toast onto their plates and set them down in front of everyone. She then sat down next to me and looked at me expectantly.

"So what did you do while you were away Sora?" she asked.

It was like the bombshell had hit. Silence fell, and suddenly everyone's attention was focused solely on me. Eyes fixed, as if I were some new and interesting toy that would dance for them. Keep them occupied for just a little longer.

"Nothing much," I replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah Sora, what could possibly take a year?" Michael inquired sharply, his eyes narrowed.

I shrugged, and tried to divert my attention to the eggs in front of me. Ugh, they were cooked for to long and the yoke wasn't runny, gross, I hated it when Maria made the yolk hard.

"Sora, we've been wondering all fucking night, what the fuck happened?" Makae hissed.

I still didn't answer as Maria told Makae off for swearing.

Really, what could I say? I'd just disappeared for a year, fought heartless, found out I had a nobody, merged with said nobody, lost friends, found friends, lost my virginity, saved the world, actually, many worlds and found my way home.

Now, would they really believe that? For some reason, my inner logic was saying no while my heart was saying yes. I was going to go with my logic.

"What happened?" someone asked, but I wasn't paying attention to who.

"What happened?"

"Where were you?"

_Red hair caught on the dark, sultry wind. Green eyes piercing into mine, tears rimming the carefully outlined edges, blurring his delicate features._

"_What happened, Sora?"_

"Sora, where did you go?"

"_Where did you disappear to, Sora?"_

_Long brown hair covering a thick, ugly red scar. Grey eyes flashed out from under the curtain of his bangs._

"_I… I missed you…"_

"What happened?"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed.

And I didn't know if I was screaming at the memories, or the people, or just at everything. At the broken keyblade, the screaming hearts and breathless crying of the lucid nobodies. Maybe I was screaming at the whole universe, wanting everything to stop.

I threw my plate to the floor, and I heard it shatter, but I didn't really care.

And then I left, ran straight out of the room.

I didn't even bother to change, just ran out of the house with my too big shorts flapping around the curve of my hips. Out into the harsh sunlight that was much less welcoming than the darkness.

And there was only one place that my mind registered.

And only one place I could force my body to go.

Riku's house.

- - - - - - - - -

I arrived shortly. Riku had never lived to far away, just a few blocks, which were easy to transverse at a leisurely jog. I wasn't even panting as I arrived on his front door step. When I had been younger, before the adventure, I could never make it to Riku's at a run, I just wasn't fit enough. But over a year of fighting, running and hiding had a strange way making someone stronger and weaker at the same time.

I knocked on the door and no one answered.

So I tried again, rasping my knuckles against the heavy wood.

Still no answer.

I cracked open the door, surprised that it had been left unlocked.

And suddenly, everything felt wrong again. As wrong as it had felt in my own house, but on a different level, on a more fundamental level than that.

Everything was empty. The house was hollow. No furniture. Nothing. Just long expanses of walls and creaking floor boards. I nearly expected there to be spiders happily spinning their webs in the dusty corners, but there weren't any. And somehow that made the house feel even more lonely.

I made my way up the massive winged staircase to where I remembered Riku's room was.

It was at the end of the second floor corridor. I approached it cautiously. Almost, afraid? But that couldn't be…

I hesitantly pushed the door open.

And couldn't believe what I saw.

This room was empty too, but the window was flung open, almost desperately, spilling light into the room in huge beams, illuminating the moss and dust that had settled into every inch of the room. A single curtain fluttered gently in the island breeze, the dirty, off white color of it seeming to match the run down abode.

And there was Riku, propped up against the wall, his legs lying in front of him haphazardly on the floor.

Riku, with crusted tears slashed underneath his piercing eyes. He raised his head slowly to meet my gaze, his hair falling over his face in greasy curtains, it was evident that he hadn't been able to have a shower last night. His clothes were covered in layers of dust that must have come from the abandoned house.\

And he just looked so… indescribably desolate.

The only thing that was different were his shoes, which he had apparently removed. Instead he was wearing a manky old pair of baby blue slippers.

On one of them the base was nearly completely peeled off, and was holding on by a few errant strands of white thread.

"These were… the only thing that they left," Riku said.

I didn't have to ask to know that he was talking about. I knew he was talking about the fraying slippers. The only things that his family had thought to leave behind.

Just as I knew that Riku wasn't going to take them off for a long, long time.

"I just can't… believe that they're gone."

I nodded. I nearly couldn't believe it either.

Riku had always been closer to his family than I had.

He opened his mouth to say something again, but closed it, unable to choke the words out. Unable to express the way he felt. Kinda like me, actually.

It was nearly heartbreaking to see him that way, with everything falling apart around him.

He held out his hand, as if he were worried about me.

And only then did I notice the traces of water dripping slowly down my cheeks. I lifted my fingers to my face in astonishment. I was… crying? I hadn't cried since Twilight Town. And even then, it had been Roxas, and not me.

Without thinking I stepped towards Riku and took his hand, letting myself be pulled down onto the hard floor, next to where Riku had fallen. Just lying there with silent tears painting my features for him to see. And then he started crying again. And we both sat there, side by side, crying, until finally, we hugged.

It just sort of happened, side by side, and then in a tangle of warm limbs, weeping together. It was so much easier to do it with someone else. And right then, I didn't care who else, as long as they understood what was going on.

And Riku just happened to be that person.

Without knowing it, I gave him something that day. Gave him something that I should never have been able to give away, not after everything that happened. And especially not to him.

He buried his face in my spiky hair while my own found the expanse of his shoulder. I rested my head on it while I wrapped my arms securely around his back, drawing us closer.

We formed a living, human tent. A tent for our tears, our stories, the darkness and the incredible yearning inside us both. The yearning to be on the move, constantly, meeting new people, seeing new things. The overwhelming urge to be on an adventure. The adventure that had already ended and spit us up back at home. Back at a home that was no longer a home.

"I'm sorry, Sora…" Riku mumbled into the top of my head.

And I didn't have to ask about what.

I knew.

He knew.

He knew that I knew.

And that was enough.

"Me too," I said back.

Riku let out a pathetic sniff as his arms tightened around my back, his hands drawing circles over the tense muscles. I shuddered in the container of our limbs.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked him.

He chuckled. We both knew that it was a silly question. After all, what did okay even constitute anymore? Was okay in the body… or in the mind?

"Yeah Sora, I'll be okay," he replied dryly, his voice slightly hoarse from all the crying.

"Good," I replied in something that could have resembled sarcasm if I wasn't being so serious.

Because, truly, deep down inside myself, I wanted him to be fine. Wanted him to be the rebellious, jealous teen that he had been before everything happened. And more than anything else, I wanted him to be happy. So happy that it was painful, so happy, that he could forget completely about me. Even though I knew that that could never happen. How I knew, I wasn't sure, but I knew that there was something important that he was hiding from me. Something that had to do with our breakdown and tangle of limbs.

Riku sniffed his nose again, and rubbed it on the back of his forearm.

"Thanks Sora."

I rubbed my nose against his shoulder in response. "No problem."

He drew back from me just far enough so that I could see his face. He looked down at me through his burning eyes, pinned e to my spot, and then he smiled. A slow, gradual smile, that took a while to bloom, but that made it all the more beautiful.

He smiled.

I smiled.

And we burst out laughing, our bodies shaking against each other's in mirth.

"It's so sad that it's funny," Riku managed to say between insane bouts of giggles.

I was laughing to hard to even answer him.

We fell to the floor together, still laughing. Deep laughter, fun laughter, real laughter. We were really enjoying ourselves. And it felt great. Amazing, fantastic. Almost like a high, something that you could get addicted to, because you could feel it, taste it, touch it.

And yet, it felt like something that I could only share with Riku. Only ever Riku.

Eventually our laughter subsided, and we lay together, on our sides, with our arms draped around each other.

Best friends.

And yet, it felt heavier than that… more secret.

As if…

Nevermind.

Riku reached up a hand and pushed some of my bangs behind one of my ears, and let his touch linger over my face before he withdrew it.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Riku enquired.

"Of course it was," I said.

Riku was silent for a few moments, trying to formulate words. I let him take his time. "It wasn't like it was with Kairi, was it?" he asked hesitantly, afraid.

I looked him in the eye. "No, it wasn't," I said, feeling like I was missing something.

Riku smiled his blinding smile again. He propped his head up on one arm that he took away from my sides. "Good."

I blinked. "Anyway, what are you going to do now?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "It's not that much of a problem. How did you look after yourself when you were fighting the heartless?"

"Well, I either stayed with Leon and the gang in Traverse Town or Hollow Bastion, and sometimes I would camp out at the Coliseum when Cloud and Sephiroth were there," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh," Riku breathed, as if he were a little taken aback. "I took care of myself the entire time, so I doubt that I'll have any problems doing it again," he said sheepishly.

I smiled at him. It seemed that that small action made him light up like a Firaga spell.

"Well, you might be able to stay with us," I offered.

Riku nodded a no. "No, it's okay, I can deal, besides, I'm 16 now, right? I'm getting on in the years," he joked.

"But seriously, Riku. I could ask for you."

He nodded no again. "It's okay Sora. But, just so you know, you're more than welcome to stay with me anytime."

I was a little shocked. I could… live with Riku? Surely it had to be better than returning to my perfect little family.

I closed my eyes and I sighed, long and deep. And yet, no matter how smothered I might have felt in their home, I could not leave them. Not again. Not yet.

I met his eyes again.

"Not now, but if I ever need a place to stay, can I crash with you?"

It was a big favour that I was asking for him.

"Of course you can!" he said, joy barely concealed in his voice.

Well, at least someone cared.

Seconds ticked by, and rolled into minutes, minutes into hours.

And before I knew it, I was curled up Riku's chest, and drifting off to sleep.

A proper sleep. Not a half hearted sleep. One where I could really, rest. Be content, not wake up screaming with nightmares.

I breathed in Riku's scent, he smelt of hardly concealed BO, mould, sweat and dust. But I didn't mind. The scent made everything feel more… real, more down to earth. And that was just what I needed right now.

_The same scent, from such a long time ago. In a room that was so white that it was blinding. Not enough shadows, never enough._

_Shocking red hair spilled across the equally blank pillow, green eyes… so alien from this place. So raw, so **real. **_

_Axel._

Axel? Where did that come from?

Roxas?

But more importantly.

Why did having Riku so close, wrapped around me, feel so blatantly familiar?

Riku…

_Riku…_

Riku…

- - - -- - - - -

Kairi hummed happily as she skipped down the cobblestone road. Her hair was done up in a high ponytail and swished with each of her movements, bouncing along behind her as if it had a mind of its own.

She let out a big grin as she saw what she was looking for, the Old Fish Shope. The best, and only place to get coffee on the islands. It was run by Zell, who had taken over after his father died.

She let herself in, the door tinkling.

"Hey Zell!" she greeted the young man.

The handsome, spiky blonde turned around and flashed her a cheery smile.

"Hey Kairi, how's it hanging?" he asked.

"It's hanging good," she laughed.

"Great to hear, Tidus and stuff are waiting for you at the usual table."

"Thanks."

Kairi skipped over to a booth near the largest of the shop windows. Tidus, Wakka, Selphie and Rinoa already sat there, chatting amicably about school.

"Hey guys," Kairi greeted as she slid into the vacant seat next to Rinoa. She placed her shoulder bag on his lap, so that her skirt wouldn't ride up when she shifted her legs. Tidus was, after all, notorious for being a complete pervert.

"Hey Kairi," Selphie replied cheerfully.

Everyone else greeted her good morning before returning to their coffee.

"So, everyone excited about school starting next week?" Kairi enquired.

Wakka groaned while Tidus banged his head against the table.

"Not even," Wakka said.

Selphie chuckled from her perch next to him and rubbed his back.

"I definitely am, can't wait to see Makae!" Rinoa claimed dreamily.

"Can't you see him anytime?" Kairi asked humorlessly.

"Of course, but now we get to eat lunch together, study together in the library in free periods and buy over priced coffee!" she squealed as if it were the most romantic thing in the world.

Selphie laughed while Kairi shook her head in amazement. Rinoa sure was weird.

"Anyway," Tidus interrupted. "Is it true…? Are Sora and Riku really back?" he asked hesitantly, as if he were wading in forbidden waters.

Kairi nodded, a smile splitting open her face again. "Yes it is! Great, isn't it?! Now everything will be just like old times!" she crowed.

Selphie giggled. "Oh, I can't wait to see them again!"

"I'm sure they can't wait to see you again too," Kairi chuckled.

"So Kairi… give me the goss… are they hot now?" Selphie said deviously.

"Selphie!" Kairi screeched in mock horror. "How could you ask such a thing?"

"Well, can't blame a chic for trying, can ya?"

Kairi shot Selphie a fake glare which had them laughing in no time.

"Umm, have I met Sora and Riku?" Rinoa said.

Tidus nodded a no towards her.

"Nah, man, ya haven't. Sora's Makae's little brudda, though. So ya would have heard of him. But ya probably haven't met both of 'em yet," Wakka explained in his thick drawl.

"Oh, are they nice?"

Kairi fixed her attention on Rinoa. "Oh yeah! Sora's a real sweetheart! Riku's pretty cool, too, but he can act a bit bitchy sometimes,"

"Riku's like, permanently PMSing or something."

"Selphie!" Kairi cried.

"What? It's true! But anyway, Kairi's REAL excited that Sora's back, because he's liked her for _ages," _Selphie winked suggestively.

"He does not," Kairi said, smiling.

"He totally does," Tidus argued.

The smile grew wider and became dreamy. "He does, doesn't he?"

Wakka and Tidus shrugged while Rinoa and Selphie sighed like love struck fools.

_Tangled deep within the embrace, Sora couldn't tell where Axel ended and Riku began. _

_But it didn't matter. Roxas and Sora both felt safe, felt sheltered from the world that was collapsing around them. The last embrace of a couple before the world swallowed them whole._

_Heart breaking._

_Beautiful._

_Imperfect._

_Sora slept, oblivious to the internal debate being waged within Riku, within Roxas, Axel, and himself._

_After all…_

_There wasn't enough…_

_Time._

- - - - - - - - -

Sorry this one took so long guys, I've been really busy at the moment.

I was pre occupied finishing off my Riku cosplay for Animania and getting our skit down pat, so there was a lot of work to do there. I'm planning to go next year as Roxas and Yazoo. Yay for the pleathery goodness.

I love all of your lovely reviews. I truly do, you guys make me feel special. Candy for the next bunch of reviewers!

And by the way, if you want to see the skit, it's here! Some lovely soul put it on youtube for us.

And duh, I'm Riku, the one of the right.


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